Friday, March 11, 2016

Falling After Your Mission

I had zero problems with pornography while I was on my mission. I had totally repented and was serving with a clean conscious for the full 18 months. My time in the mission and even the months leading up to my mission were full of scripture studying and proselyting. I was focused and there was nothing that was going to distract me, including pornography.

But then it was time to go home. 

I was really good for the first few months. I went to bed and got up at a decent hour, I read my scriptures every day, I said my prayers . . . but it wasn't the same as on my mission, as I'm sure most RM's can attest to. 

All of a sudden I could sleep and wake up when I wanted, I could watch TV, I could get on the computer. The possibilities of how I spent my time were endless....

And then it happened . . . I slipped up.

I thought, "How could I let myself do this, especially after the covenants I've made?"

I felt that familiar ache in my chest that feels like someone taking a sledgehammer to my heart.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that was the first and last time I messed up after my mission.

As missionaries, we taught the Plan of Salvation every day. We taught our investigators that their sins could be forgiven, that their weaknesses could become strengths, that they could repent and be clean through Jesus Christ and obtain the Celestial Kingdom.

But sometimes, as returned missionaries, when we mess up we think that that doesn't apply to us.

Well it does.

Slipping after your mission might seem like the end of the world, but as someone who's been there, I'm here to tell you that you are not the only one and things can get better. It's hard work, as I'm sure you're aware, but it's more possible than you know. Remember the covenants you have made and then remember He who made it possible for your to make those covenants.

The greatest asset I've found to overcoming my addiction has been returning to missionary life as much as possible. I'm not perfect at it, but if only listening to church hymns for a week helps you get on track, do it. Get a break from Netflix for a while. Whatever it may be, do what is necessary for you to greater magnify the covenants you've made and strengthen your relationship with Christ. Ask the Lord for specific daily acts that you can add to your routine. He knows you better than you know you. He knows what you need to change to keep up the battle and He's eager to help.

How can you help RMs who might be struggling? Share this post! You never know who will need this.
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  1. Great work. I'm starting a blog too, from a mom's perspective. (I'll let you know when its up and running) Thank you for speaking up!

    1. I can't wait to read it! Please do let me know!

  2. That imaginative factor is most of the fun when it comes to child's play. It's amazing how quickly simple objects can be turned into integral parts of a game - one minute something is a simple cushion being used by adults; the next minute it's a spaceship or a bus!
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