Girls Fight it Too

There were so many moments in my life where I felt like I was getting shamed into a corner to hide further and further away from anyone finding out about my addiction. Being addicted to pornography is already taboo, but when you're a girl, it's a whole new level of taboo.

I can't count how many times I sat at an LDS youth fireside or General Conference and heard this phrase: "Now, speaking to the young men, I caution you to stay away from pornography." These leaders who meant so well had no idea the immense confusion and self-loathing that repeatedly bulldozed me into the ground with this simple comment.

Not only was I sinning, but apparently I was sinning in a way that only boys were supposed to sin.
I felt like there was something wrong with me, but I had no idea who to turn to for answers. Even years after, as an adult, I finally told my bishop about my addiction, I still wondered if I was the only girl who struggled with this.

In recent years there has been some effort to acknowledge women who are struggling with pornography. The Mormon Channel released a great video that has helped many women know that they are not alone. (You can watch it here.) But we still have so far to go. If we're going to have success in this, we need to change some rhetoric . . .

 "Now even girls are struggling with it."

News flash, men: we've always struggled with it. Erotica is just as dangerous as pornography and women have been divulging in it for decades. It might be like eating the leaves off of a tree instead of the fruit, but either way, it grows on the same tree and it's just as addictive and dangerous. 

Fight the New Drug gives a great resource to current statistics on pornography viewed by women. Their article said, “As countless girls across the world already know, society’s stereotype is all wrong when it comes to the perception of porn being only a 'guy issue.' A recent German sex study showed that as many as 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and that half of the women surveyed watched porn. Another study found that about half of young adult women agree that viewing pornography is acceptable and 1/3 of young women reported viewing porn.” You can read the full article here.

If you need help really understanding these statistics, let me break it down for you: (Speaking to the women) If you do not regularly view pornography, then either your sister or your best friend does or has in the past.

That is the cold, hard truth. And if we keep putting women on this pedestal of purity and virtue, unwisely assuming that they're somehow immune to the lure of pornography or sexual transgression, then they will continue to hide in the darkness, not knowing how to confront or overcome this obstacle that they're apparently not supposed to have. 

We need to remove the taboo of pornography. Creating discussion is the only way to change that. 

If you want to change things, share this post and join the conversation. Email me at to share your story or for any questions or comments.


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